Boy oh Boy?!!

Posted on | November 14, 2008 | No Comments

I talked to my friend, Scott today who used to be one of my best friends from when I was a teenager up until a year ago. I told him about the baby and he did some Chinese Horoscope on me which basically just told me that my baby is gonna be a boy Teehee. That would be fine. I’ve been assuming that my baby is a boy. Daddy assumed it too. Awww .. if it’s true, I have a son! Scott swears he his horoscope is accurate.

Anyway, one thing Scottie and I have in common now is that we’re both currently experiencing parenthood. He and his “girl thing” (I call her that cause I have no idea what their relationship is) are having a baby. He says she’s being really psycho and obsessive with him and has been trying to force him in situations using the baby. He says he’s trying his best to be there for her and the baby despite all of that, but that it’s getting hard. He admitted that currently he has her on phone block because she won’t stop calling and acting out.

Those two have some serious drama. All of this made me wonder if Daddy would respond to me better if that’s how I acted. He always said he wanted to see me act out in anger because it’s so against my nature. I’m laid back, but when I get mad I handle it like an adult. It takes a whole lot to turn me into a Banshee .. and even as hurt as I am right now he hasn’t crossed that line. Hell, even when he was standing before me, humiliating me infront of an audience at his apartment I kept my cool .. but I was mostly just scared to death of everything then. I didn’t wanna upset him further cause I thought I needed him and I wanted him to stay.

Also Scottie’s situation makes me wonder eve more .. I love Scott to death, he’s been like my brother especially now.. but he’s a druggy, he doesn’t like the mom and says he doesn’t want a kid .. but still he’s trying and he’s there.
I don’t understand why Daddy can’t be like that. Scott tells me not to worry and that Daddy is probably still high/emotional/confused. He’s sure that Daddy will come around eventually and call me soon or at least talk to me. I hope he’s right. I can’t even sleep tonight cause I can’t stop thinking about him. I hate that he has such control over me. I hate that he’s preventing me from enjoying my pregnancy with the kid I’m now so excited about. Ugh. Scottie also told me if all else fails to get ghetto on his ass and call him to cuss him out .. LOL.

Anyway, I’m so hungry. I ate a whole Quiznos sandwich today! YAY!!! I think I’m gonna go to Braum’s and pig out on their breakfast sandwiches here soon since I still can’t sleep. I’ll try to stay up so I can go to Planned Parenthood first thing and start learning all about my rights and what not being single and pregnant since I’m pretty positive now I’m keeping my boy. Awww … MY BOY!

And speaking of my little boy, he has been giving me some killer ass cramps. I read that’s him attaching himself to my body. Ugh they hurt … also my boobs and nipples are starting to get super sore. HERE WE GO! All the pregnancy BS that I dread .. LOL!

I know it’s gonna be so worth it though Anything for my little miracle. Gosh, I can’t wait until he is here and I can hold him in my arms <3