Overload
Posted on | November 14, 2008 | No Comments
I’m only 1 month pregnant and already I’m showing too many symptoms. Teehee. My GAWD .. cramps, tender boobs, heart burn, mood swings. I feel so depressed right now and really for no reason.
Am I gonna bitch about Daddy this entry? Eh, not really cause I don’t feel like its him this time. Right now I’m like who gives a fuck about him. I’m not even sure why I’ve wanted him to call so bad. To show he cares of course, but what do we really have to talk about? Mention the baby? Why keep in touch? I hate him actually, he’s scum and I don’t wanna hear about his pathetic life. Plus I remembered that whenever I wanted to talk about the baby when we were speaking to one another he said “Don’t worry about the baby. We have plenty of time to do that. I have other things I need to focus on for now” Like court? Drugs? Your ex-girlfriend? Picking up new girls online who fall for your charm and goodlooks yet fail to realize how much of a loser you are? Meeting new connections? Wondering how the hell at 26 years old you’ve failed at life so epically? I guess … I wish you nothing but the worst.
Gah, cramps 
And I wanna cry. But I refuse to cry without a purpose. So now I’m giggling. Giggling with tears welling up in my eyes.
I wonder what I’ll have for dinner today. I’m not feeling very hungry. I don’t cook .. I suck at it and … I just don’t feel like it right now. I’m still in my mood.
Maybe I should get out of the house tonight. I can go to the bookstore, sip a frappucinno and read a book about being a mommy. Or maybe I shouldn’t do that. I’m sick of thinking about the baby. No offense baby .. but you’ve been on my mind for over a week now. This is overload. But then the cycle starts again. What else should I be thinking about?
I’m in my mood. Nothing else really matters.
Tags: daddy (the ex) > frustration > pregnant and alone > single mom pregnancy
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