Better Feeling :)
Posted on | December 8, 2008 | 4 Comments
I wanna thank everyone for the support and words of wisdom. Those who comment, email or talk to me in other forms I really appreciate it.
When I wasn’t posting I took a giant time out. I needed a break from thinking about babies and motherhood and I needed a break from obsessing over Daddy. It took a lot of soul searching but I finally realized that he’s not good for me or the baby and I couldn’t understand why I wanted him to be so involved in the first place. The guy is a giant walking bag of issues. I guess because I’ve never envisioned myself as a single mother and the thought of being one kinda put me in panic mode and I was a bit ashamed. I felt I had to count on the other person, I cared how other might view me .. but now I realize it’s not so bad. I just had to find it in myself to be confident and strong .. and I’m lucky because I have a great support system in my family so my child will def be loved. And for the most part not many people have viewed me differently .. and the ones who have were so few and don’t even matter.
Daddy did start to call again .. twice. He said he can’t stop thinking about his baby. He can’t stop talking about it. He can’t wait until it’s here so he can do all sorts of things with it. He wants it to have his name. He also pretended to care about me and how I’m doing ..he was so super excited that my pregnancy was confirmed and I wasn’t making it up (as if 5 at home pee tests werent enough) But just as randomly as he started calling, he quickly and randomly stopped. That’s so him. And I’m so over it. Me nor our baby need that type of “in and out” toying with our emotions.
If he wants to be there he can come to me, but until then he is dead to me.
Comments
4 Responses to “Better Feeling :)”
Leave a Reply
December 9th, 2008 @ 9:52 am
Sending you A LOT of virtual hugs… you will get through this and hang on to that strength, you’ll need it.
But life does go on – and can go on – very well without a man in the mix.
December 9th, 2008 @ 5:42 pm
That’s awesome that you’ve been able to find some peace and clarity.
A lot of women in your situation would be sitting around feeling sorry for themselves 24/7. You’re rocking this young, single, pregnant momma thing! Go you!
And I agree that you occasionally need to take a break from thinking/talking/reading about the baby. You are still you… just a much cooler version.
December 9th, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
I am in a similar situation, 18 single mumma and 10 weeks.
Please if anyone has any words of advive please email me awaitingyouhere@hotmail.com
December 9th, 2008 @ 10:36 pm
Thanks for the comments ladies. It was hard to get over the father of my child, I’m not gonna lie. And there are times I still think of him and get annoyed. I could still be depressed and feeling sorry for myself right now .. but I really had to stop and come to terms with the fact that theres a little person involved now and all that hurt and bad feeling does neither of us any good.
Sure, Daddy can hurt me all the day long. Repeatedly even, and I can take it .. I’m a grown woman whose been through and seen some things so sooner or later I’ll get over it.
But this precious little innocent person doesn’t deserve to share that pain. All I want is to see my baby smile and be as happy as possible. Right now, unfortunately, the father is not in a place mentally where he can provide those smiles and good memories to our little one. So mommy must step up to the plate!