Rain, Snow and Wishes
Posted on | March 28, 2009 | 2 Comments
I’ve been stuck in the apartment about 4 days now due to rainstorms for 2 days and now a snow storm! In spring! I look out my window at 8:30 pm and everything is bright white .. which is very pretty .. but I’m going stir crazy dammit! I want OUT!
I’ve been spending most of my time working and making money. Giving myself quota after quota to reach just to keep myself entertained. I’m almost bored, but money is never boring. Especially when there’s a new baby on the way.
Speaking of I really, really need to stop reading baby message boards. Between stories of people’s horror birth/labor tales .. and today seeing and hearing about premie babies not making it .. it sucks. I think back to the days when I found out I was pregnant with Jack. I was horrified and couldn’t imagine myself with a baby. I didn’t want a baby. I didn’t want to be a single mother. I didn’t want to be connected to Daddy for the rest of my life. I would close my eyes and secretly wish that life would restart and I would wake up not pregnant. I would wake up and no longer have a baby. That I could just have my old life back.
Now I can’t imagine my life without Jack and I don’t want a life without him! He makes me smile. He makes me excited for my future. I thank God every single day that I have him. I have finally found what it feels like to know true love!
I guess I wonder sometimes what if my old wishes still hold weight? The whole “be careful what you wish for” thing sometimes haunts me like crazy…. but I don’t wanna think like that. I want to think happy thoughts. In 3 months I will have my baby boy in my arms and we both will be happy, healthy and live a great life together.
In other news I want to thank Ms. Single Mama for the digicam suggestions. Her story came about right on time as I, who am not really a picture person, have been contemplating on buying my first digital camera. I secretly want to become a picture person and I want to start taking pictures of my son right away. I never got the people who took pictures of every single moments of their lives, but with him I see the reason. Cherish the memories! I think I will start off with the Sony Cybershot and see how I do. Me and my amateur non-photographer ways.
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2 Responses to “Rain, Snow and Wishes”
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March 29th, 2009 @ 2:39 am
I'm one of "those" people lol
Add me to facebook, you'll see lol
I studied photography in school so it's kind of just natural for me to take photos of everything now but I definitely recommend getting a camera!
I didn't bring mine to the hospital when James was born and I really regretted it!
Don't think negatively!
if you care to share that is…
It'll affect Jack. Think happy, positive thoughts and he'll get that vibe instead.
He IS going to be a happy and healthy little boy.
We're all thinking positively for you on the days when you feel like you can't.
I love hearing about Jack Jack and I look forward to seeing a picture of him!
March 29th, 2009 @ 2:53 pm
Thanks Nicole
I do intend to invest in one. And you will def see many many pics and videos of JackJack right from the beginning!