Single Deadbeat “Fathers”
Posted on | April 19, 2009 | 4 Comments
I’m judgmental of single fathers. I admit it, but not in a way that you would think.
I’ll start off by saying I’m in no position to be dating right now. I’m just not ready. But I will converse. I’ve come to find that I am quick to shun and feel sour about any guy who tells me he is a father, but doesn’t see his kids. Yeah, I know, there are different circumstances for that, but when a guy doesn’t seem to bothered by that .. meh. I’m over it.
I also have alienated my male friends and acquaintances who have children but don’t really give a damn about them or trash talk their children’s mothers. The guys who don’t work, can’t drive, live with their parents and have no life ambition. They make no effort, but they are so “proud” to have made a kid.
Funny a year ago today neither of these things would have bothered me. I remember when I first met my son’s father it took him a little while to mention his son but when he did he proudly said “Yup! I have a son. He looks just like me!” as if he were Dad of the M’Fing year, but immediately he went on to say he only saw his son on occasion and signed over his parental rights after he was born. He didn’t work and he made no effort into helping provide for him.
Then he gave me all of the details of his relationship with his son’s mother .. which was a little dysfunctional. And he seemed pretty cool about that. As if it were an ideal situation and I would be impressed.
Why didn’t this bother me? Actually it did bother me, but not as much as it should have. “Well, I’m not planning on having kids with this guy”, I thought. “So what’s it matter? I like him otherwise, he’s cute and besides I just wanna have a little fun here!”
And look where a little fun got me. 
Who knows what he thinks of his second son. Who knows what he tells those insecure girls who are blinded by his goodlooks and technique of swooning by musical abilities about me. I’m a crazy bitch. I never meant anything to him as I was just a fuck (lie). I’m boring because I’m not cool with him and his friends and what they do. I got pregnant on purpose. I just want to trap him and get in on his family’s money.
And I’m sure they eat that up. I probably would have a long, long time ago.
I guess I’m on the defensive and I just don’t see anything positive about these guys. I don’t believe they have anything to offer me in my new life as a single mother with a child I care deeply about, afterall they don’t seem to have much to offer their own children. All and All I figure these “men” to all bethe same and I tend to be more on the side of the Baby Mama.
This post has no uniformity at all. Just a thought that popped up in my mind when one of those “dads” texted me. One I used to know long ago and is no good. One who wanted to “get to know me” all over again.
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4 Responses to “Single Deadbeat “Fathers””
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April 19th, 2009 @ 9:21 pm
My thoughts?
They're just kids yet- children who never grew up.
Anyone can make a baby. It takes a man to be a father.
April 21st, 2009 @ 3:52 pm
Oh, thought I'd add, I gave you an award for your SUPER blog:
http://spiffyspotlights.blogspot.com/2009/04/vali...
April 21st, 2009 @ 4:07 pm
I agree!
Kids who never grew up, kids who may never grow up.
April 21st, 2009 @ 4:08 pm
Thank you very much!