Getting Stronger .. and Stranger
Posted on | January 15, 2009 | 5 Comments
I woke up this morning with a whole new attitude, a fed up one. I’m tired of feeling hurt, feeling used, feeling pissed, feeling heartbroken, feeling disappointed. I’m coming to terms with being pregnant .. it isn’t so bad really. But I’ve let all of these people into my life, into my heart, into my mind when I shouldn’t have which ultimately lead to my downfall.
I can’t really be blamed too much. I’m only human. I’m a nice person who expects others be nice to me, never do I anticipate those I get along great with and grow close to and fond of to make me feel like shit but hey I learned that can happen.
I don’t have anything against men, but I’m sick of felling used by men. From Daddy to Thumper, to a random ex who crossed paths with me and pretended not to even remember me when there was no way he could forget me. You pile everything on at once and it’s like … wow what type of shitty person was I in a before life to deserve all of this?
I don’t and I hope to never go through it again for awhile. The walls are back up, and men aren’t a concern .. just my child. I’ve removed myself from any coed social networking site except for those aimed toward single parents. All I need is friends right now, people who understand and who I can talk to .. chat with, call up. I don’t need to accidentally fall inlove again.
…………………..
I had my Dr.’s appointment today and it was short. I didn’t get the bloodwork done cause they said next visit they wanna test the baby for disabilities through my blood .. I said I can’t handle that much back and back bloodwork so they said they would push it back just this last time. I’m off the hook though I just wanna get it over with.
Tags: heartbroken > inner strength > love
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5 Responses to “Getting Stronger .. and Stranger”
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January 18th, 2009 @ 10:34 pm
Watch some of the people you meet on single parent sites!
I’ve met some people on those that are just on there for their own amusement and don’t even have children!
Be careful
Good luck with everything, you’re going to do a great job with that little baby!
January 19th, 2009 @ 12:59 am
Hey how did your appointment go? How far along are you?
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:41 am
Thank you for the heads up and encouragement Nicole
I appreciate it.
Tam, my appointment when ok .. it was very quick. I’m 16 weeks pregnant!
January 21st, 2009 @ 1:57 am
Awesome, have you had a scan yet?
January 21st, 2009 @ 10:00 pm
Nope I didn’t even get the dreaded blood work done! Since they need to check my baby for disabilities my next appointment they’re going to do it all at once.
I’ve gotten one ultrasound at 11 weeks I think. I can’t wait until my next!