How Am I Going to Survive This?
Posted on | July 29, 2009 | 6 Comments
I hope everyone is doing well! I’m hiding out at home sans baby so I have a moment to write.
Ok, this is SO much harder than I thought it was going to be .. being a single mama to an infant. I never thought it was going to be easy, but damn it’s tough!
Jack and I are still staying with my mom while I heal from labor and I don’t know how it’s going to work when we come home. She relieves me for about 2 or 3 hours at night to get some sleep but during the day I’m on my own unless an aunt stops by to help out and wow it’s been so difficult trying to get back into the swing of things. I have no time to work nor do I have time to care for my self because the only way my son will be quiet most of the time is if I’m holding him, soothing him. I held him for 10 hours straight yesterday. He’s been sick lately with serious gas, lots of poops and tummy aches .. has has a doctor appointment tomorrow.
My mom and I don’t even cook so we eat fast food every day and man do I feel like crap. And it’s not helping me get rid of these 60 lbs of baby weight (and big fat gut and ass) any faster.
My mom and I are starting to butt heads because lately she keeps commenting on how horrible of a parent I am to Jack. If I swaddle him I’m torturing him cause it’s a baby straight jacket. If I give him gas drops to make him feel better it’s my fault that he broke out in a rash from something unknown last night. If I let him cry a little instead of stuffing a bottle in his mouth to shut him it’s neglect. It’s my fault she has an infestation of roaches that may crawl on the baby’s bottles. Grr.
The reason I’m home now is because I was watching my son. He was really cranky but he kept yawning so I said to him “Baby go to sleep! You’re tired and mommy is tired! Let’s rest!”
My mom overheard me and came in the room to snatch my baby away and said “Sorry, grandson, you got a mama who has no sense and doesn’t know how to treat you.
I told her to just shut it with the crap she pulls and give me my son back, but she said “No I’m keeping him” and locked herself up in her room with him .. so I came home to cool off and not scare my baby.
I’m surprised she went there especially since the other night I caught her yelling at my baby as he cried saying “Shut up boy! All you do is cryin like a little sissy and I’m tired of listening to you”
I was so pissed and asked her never to speak to my baby like that again. I’m never mean to my son and always gives him my very best.
I seriously feel like it’s time for Jack and I to come home but I don’t know how I’m going to survive.
Wish me luck mamas!
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6 Responses to “How Am I Going to Survive This?”
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July 29th, 2009 @ 10:26 pm
You CAN do it on your own! It may even be easier without the added stress of your mom there. It will get easier! The first couple months are hard! You have to get used to a tiny human being relying on you for EVERYTHING!! As time goes by he will learn to self soothe, and hopefully wont be so needy!! Just keep doing what youre doing, and you’ll get through it!!
July 30th, 2009 @ 6:22 am
I agree- it might be a lot easier without having to deal with you mom. You’ll adjust, I promise. (But, of course, these damn kiddos will throw you a curve-ball at least every few months!)
July 30th, 2009 @ 9:01 pm
Have you thought about wearing him? Ok, I mean like a sling type thing, that way he’s still close to you, and your hands are free to do whatever you need to.
August 3rd, 2009 @ 3:36 pm
MOVE OUT! You dont need more stress in your life, your mum, as well intentioned as she may be, is clearly not ready to take on the grandparent role, as opposed to the parent role, which is your job. She needs to learn to back off and stop being so negative. What you need is love and support, and your clearly not getting that. Your a great mum, just keep doing what your doing, and make sure your mum understands this is YOUR BABY, and you will raise him the way you think is best for him.
August 10th, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
Thank you for the support and suggestions!
August 19th, 2009 @ 9:44 pm
Oh yeah, I sure do remember what that was like! Sheer exhaustion!!! It isn’t easy, but take it from someone who has been alone since I was 2 and a half month pregnant, then alone after the baby was born – go home. Yes, you will be tired, and yes, it won’t be easy, but that kind of negativity just isn’t worth it. You will learn very quickly how to manage him on your own, trust. You can do it!