Cravings and Urges

Posted on | January 28, 2009 | No Comments

For some reason right now I feel compelled to call Daddy. Why? I have no idea. My fingers have been twitching to do this for awhile now. I don’t really have anything to say to him, nothing to ask him, nothing to share. I just wanna do it. I’ve been fighting off the urge though because I don’t really see a point. Besides, I know if he gave a damn about me or his kid and wanted to hear from us he would have called or something. But he hasn’t. He doesn’t.

….

I really want to get over my cravings for sweets .. Skittles, cupcakes, ice cream, juice .. I’m feeling sick of it as I’ve never been a sweets fan and it always leaves the worst after taste in my mouth. Blech. I can’t stop eating them though. Actually I can’t stop eating much of anything! Oddly and thankfully I’ve not gained 1 lb yet. WOOHOO!

Other than that I suppose everything is well. My body is aching as my belly is stretching. I feel kinda like a blob physically. Mentally I’m ok. Just a bit lonely and stir crazy. I’m stuck alone inside of my apartment because there’s so much snow and ice out. I just wanna see another human being, talk face to face with someone, have someone to giggle with or watch a movie with. Ya know .. whatever!

……
Also, I miss Thumper. For the most part the heartache over the end of our “romantic” relationship is over .. although in a way the “romance” is still there. We still talk the same and act the same, like a loving couple. He still wants to be there and hold my hand in the delivery room. I want him to.

I’ve been craving him so much lately its crazy and almost feels like an obsession. I crave his body, his eyes, his smile, his voice .. more than anything his arms around me at night. I miss feeling his little kisses along my back, neck, shoulders and face following by a tight squeeze whenever he would randomly wake up at night. All those little things. I miss the fun we have together. He says he misses me and all that too.

Gah wtttffffffuuu …

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