The Focus is on My Son
Posted on | August 30, 2009 | 3 Comments
Day by day things are getting easier. I’m re-adjusting, restoring my mind back to how it was pre-August 17. I think I’m OK now. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t miss him. That it’s not hard for me to see him sign online and fight the want to message him. But I do and it’s getting easier.
I’m trying to focus on my little boy for now and there’s so much to focus on. For one, my god, he’s getting so big and it feels like time is just flying. He is so long, so strong, so grown minded and full of personality. He’s smiling and laughing now! What sets him off? I’m not too sure. Sometimes he will look at me and coo, giggle and make me feel like the luckiest woman in the world .. and then other days he will look at me like “Bish, get up out my face”.
Maybe because he realizes his mom is out of her mind.
For two, he’s already trying to stand and climb. Roll over and crawl. He’s so determined, yet his inexperience and tiny body are still holding him back just a little. He’s been attempting these things since birth. I swear he was only a bump on a log for maybe a day.
*~*Join Me While I Babble On About More Mommyness Below*~*
I took these pics the other day and I can’t help but squeal and spasm uncontrollably into all kinds of jerky “proud, happy mommy” moves. He’s so handsome and photogenic even through my shitty Nokia XpressMusic cameraphone! I often consider trying to enroll him in some sort of baby modeling, but I’m not really one to pimp out my child. I figure it’s not really his choice so why put him into something he might not want or enjoy? One of my main goala as a mother is not to force my son to be anything I want him to be. I only hope to influence him positively to be the best he can be, and achieve the things he would like to achieve.
Lastly, I’m sitting here staring at his face while he sleeps and I swear everyday he looks more and more like his dad. How he can look at our son’s face and still tell me he needs a paternity test is beyond me. The uncanniness still blows me away. Jack looks absolutely nothing like me, although there are days when for a split second he will make a face and look like Baby Bridgette 
That’s amazing to see.
But you know what? After all of this bullshit, come 5-10 years from now if I’m not close to being married or in a loving, stable relationship I honestly want Daddy’s sperm for more children. I know it sounds crazy, but dammit if we don’t make great babies together. Beautiful, smart, amazing babies.
Tags: biracial baby > biracial baby pictures > raising a son
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3 Responses to “The Focus is on My Son”
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August 30th, 2009 @ 7:55 pm
Damn you and your cute baby photos! It makes my uterus feel so empty and lonely!
Anna looks nothing like my family (and acts nothing like us, either)– it’s all her dad’s side — but I, too, love those split-second moments when I see some of myself in her.
August 31st, 2009 @ 7:55 am
Yup, Aubs is all Daddy.
And I was totally with you on wanting to make a sibling (preferably full) for her before she hit five years- whether or not I was in a relationshp.
He is SO incredibly handsome. And I am SO incredibly jealous!!!!
August 31st, 2009 @ 10:51 am
LMAO! Funny, I guess we all lost the race in the gene pool. What’s up with all these daddies dominating the makeup of our children?
Lauren – I’m sorry about your uterus .. please just think of all the stanky diapers, the late nights crying for no apparent reason .. and .. the STANKY MESSY DIAPERS! I swear the diapers alone sometimes make me wanna hand him over. My son kills it. LOL.
Hef- Thank you
Also I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in thinking about more full siblings no matter what the future relationship status is.