Falling Into Place
Posted on | September 7, 2009 | 2 Comments
I just realized, well I’m sensing, that things in my life are starting to fall into place. Not every thing, but some things. Important things.
For one, I just noticed that all of the toxic people in my life have been weeded out in some way or another. The last few people that I held on to because of boredom, familiarity, or just to have someone are gone and it feels so good.
The guy I’ve been seeing, the guy I occasionally mention here but never talk about because I’ve always been aware he was no one special and we were going no where, is GONE. And I’m happy. I feel peaceful. I’m so relieved to be 100% single instead of “mostly single”.
I no longer give a shit what Daddy is doing and why he is not here. I don’t miss him at all And I’m, for once, being completely honest when I say that.
I’m happy to finally be free of all drama. Especially drama that involves men.
I’m eating better. I’m exercising. I’m spending more quality time with my son, and he’s growing like a weed turning out to be an amazing, smart and healthy baby. I feel good, content. I’m becoming happy with myself and with my life. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve felt completely OK. I feel like things are looking up me.
No, life isn’t perfect. I’m taking a lesson in frugal living right now as it’s been predicted that the forthcoming months will be tough on us financially. But I feel humbled and optimistic. I will do whatever I can to keep a roof over our head, my bills paid, our tummies fed and my son in clean clothes and diapers.
I see this as a chance for me to grow up and stop spending emotionally. Also a realization that money won’t always come easy, and that I really do need to pay off my credit card debt once and for all. Monthly payments to cards suck.
I’m in a total nesting mode. My apartment is so cluttered and unorganized. It’s making things feel so cramped so I’m working on this now, then I plan to redecorate. Arrgh. Back to it before Jack wakes up!
Tags: financial struggles > frugal living > positive changes > toxic friends
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2 Responses to “Falling Into Place”
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September 10th, 2009 @ 7:30 pm
Yay for finding your groove. Just know that things will get all of whack, and then get all straightened out, and then get all out of whack once again through this whole parenting thing. But it DOES get easier when those post-partum hormonal shifts take a hike.
I remember when I first realized that all of my toxic friends had been gone, and I remember being so shocked by how little I missed them.
Expect to feel humbled over and over again through the years to come!
And keep up the good work, girl! It’s awesome to hear that you’re feeling so awesome!
September 13th, 2009 @ 4:02 pm
You’re right, Hef. This whole thing IS an a big ol back and forth .. I see that already.
There are days I get lonely and wish I had someone to talk to or chill with, but its never those people I want.
Thank you