I Sleep So I Can’t Feel

Posted on | November 11, 2008 | No Comments

I’ve slept a lot today. Mostly so I can pretend that none of this is real right now. Yes, I’m still confused, trying to find out what to do, what I’m going to do with my life, my child. It’s so hard.

On Friday when I left the Dad of my kid I was very emotional and wrote him a long ass letter on myspace basically telling him I love him and was trying to encourage him not to give up and overcome his obstacles for our child. I regret that now, because at the time I was just biting my tongue while he insulted me, disrespected me and had randomly just kicked me and our little one out of his life like it was nothing.

Its Tuesday and no response. I’m so sick of signing into that damn site just to see if he has replied yet. Many wonder why I even care .. and well I wonder that too. So I deleted my account. The same one I’ve had for 4 or 5 years. It’s the only way I think I can help heal right now.

I’m also going to chance my Yahoo account too .. cause I still obsessively check to see if he’s messaged me at all.

*shrug*

Sigh.