Posted on | October 29, 2009 | 8 Comments
Life’s been a little tough and hectic lately. I’m honestly overworked and overtired .. both from being a mom and from working period. I hate being thrown into a financial bind. I’m doing everything I can to keep the roof over my sons head and then with Christmas coming too? Fuck.
Sleep? What’s that?
Stress? I’ve got plenty. I woke up yesterday feeling like I had gotten hit by a bus. I was shaking and I could not even get out of bed to get my baby a bottle. I had absolutely no strength. I had to call my mom to come get him while I nourished myself with food and sleep. No thinking of work. I feel a million times better now.
Sad though cause Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I was so excited for it this year but now I don’t even feel like doing anything.
My son is all over the place. He’s rolling, crawling, trying to stand. And being adorable. I know I promised I wouldn’t pimp him out, but I couldn’t help it .. I enrolled him in the BabyGap Model contest. Wish him luck! I don’t care much if he even wins the grand prize, but winning the semi finals would be such an honor.
I desperately want to move. We’ve SO outgrown this apartment. I can’t even keep it clean because there’s no where to put things.
Why is it that lately I’ve been so terribly bitter at his father? I don’t know why really since we haven’t talked since I mentioned the baby’s SCT .. if you call that talking. I think of him and my stomach turns. I want to spit in his face. I’m tired of being bitter over him. I’m tired of him ruining my life of happiness. I’m doing all I can to move on, but damn that’s hard.
This entry is all over place, sorry. I have to go now, just wanted to update