Comments on: 20 Years http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/ I am a single mother of a biracial baby boy just trying to make it on my own. This journey is hard, yet rewarding. Blogging is my therapy, these words are my heart, and people doing better and being inspired by what I have written is my passion and hope. Fri, 18 May 2012 14:00:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Marcy http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-831 Marcy Fri, 25 Jun 2010 05:06:25 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-831 You know, it's a tuff topic, my sons dad got out of prison and moved four states away without trying to see my baby. i believe if they really wanted to, they would be here for their kids, w/ or w/out a relationship with us (the mothers of their kids) because it should be their relationships w/ their kids that keep them from being off the right path. i think with a really awesome mother they can be the greatest wit or without their "dads". as long as we are they keeping them straight, being very aware of right and wrong and supporting them to their fullest they will all be awesomr kids. its just really up to us (their moms)! You know, it’s a tuff topic, my sons dad got out of prison and moved four states away without trying to see my baby. i believe if they really wanted to, they would be here for their kids, w/ or w/out a relationship with us (the mothers of their kids) because it should be their relationships w/ their kids that keep them from being off the right path. i think with a really awesome mother they can be the greatest wit or without their “dads”. as long as we are they keeping them straight, being very aware of right and wrong and supporting them to their fullest they will all be awesomr kids. its just really up to us (their moms)!

]]> By: Laura http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-829 Laura Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:32:16 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-829 Hi Bridgette, Reading through your entire blog and thought I'd comment on this. I also have concerns about how to explain my daughter's father to her when she gets older. Honestly, I wish my daughter's father was in jail. That'd be easier to explain. "Honey, your dad was a sick man. If he was well, I know he'd love you. But that's why he wasn't in your life." Or something like that. My daughter's father abandoned us when I first told him I was pregnant. He is a successful director of a well known non-profit organization, and went on to marry the woman he was secretly dating while dating me. He has another daughter from his first marriage - a beautiful six year old, whom he adores and sees regularly, pays child support for, etc. Meanwhile, he has zero love, interest, affection for my daughter. To invest in my daughter would mean to admit he lied to the current wife. And he just won't tarnish his picture perfect life. You and I know that he's a jerk and not even worthy of my daughter. But how do you explain this to a child? Daddy's not well? Then how can he offer up Father of the Year to his other daughter? How do you explain to a child that part of who she is doesn't love himself, much less her? You be the love and light your son needs. Love him and show him what it means to be a good parent. As for Daddy? I don't know if you go to church, but somehow, find a good role model for your son and surround him with people who love him (and you!) By the time he's old enough to realize to ask questions about his biological father, it'll barely register on his radar as a glitch. With all the love you are surrounding him with, he'l never miss a thing. Hugs! .-= Check Out Laura's blog! "<a href="http://irisbailey.blogspot.com/2010/06/graduation-day.html" rel="nofollow">graduation day</a>" =-. Hi Bridgette,

Reading through your entire blog and thought I’d comment on this. I also have concerns about how to explain my daughter’s father to her when she gets older.

Honestly, I wish my daughter’s father was in jail. That’d be easier to explain. “Honey, your dad was a sick man. If he was well, I know he’d love you. But that’s why he wasn’t in your life.”

Or something like that.

My daughter’s father abandoned us when I first told him I was pregnant. He is a successful director of a well known non-profit organization, and went on to marry the woman he was secretly dating while dating me. He has another daughter from his first marriage – a beautiful six year old, whom he adores and sees regularly, pays child support for, etc.

Meanwhile, he has zero love, interest, affection for my daughter. To invest in my daughter would mean to admit he lied to the current wife. And he just won’t tarnish his picture perfect life. You and I know that he’s a jerk and not even worthy of my daughter.

But how do you explain this to a child? Daddy’s not well? Then how can he offer up Father of the Year to his other daughter? How do you explain to a child that part of who she is doesn’t love himself, much less her?

You be the love and light your son needs. Love him and show him what it means to be a good parent. As for Daddy? I don’t know if you go to church, but somehow, find a good role model for your son and surround him with people who love him (and you!)

By the time he’s old enough to realize to ask questions about his biological father, it’ll barely register on his radar as a glitch. With all the love you are surrounding him with, he’l never miss a thing.

Hugs!
.-= Check Out Laura’s blog! "graduation day" =-.

]]> By: hef http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-717 hef Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:09:54 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-717 Wow. This definitely may be for the best. And I really agree with the honest/age-appropriate answers in the years to come. Keep on doing your best and that will be more than enough. (HUGS) .-= Check Out hef's blog! "<a href="http://whefah.blogspot.com/2010/01/about-that-upswing.html" rel="nofollow">About That Upswing...</a>" =-. Wow. This definitely may be for the best. And I really agree with the honest/age-appropriate answers in the years to come. Keep on doing your best and that will be more than enough. (HUGS)
.-= Check Out hef’s blog! "About That Upswing…" =-.

]]> By: Robyn http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-713 Robyn Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:58:34 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-713 WOW! I am sorry to hear what has happened here. Al though, sometimes I wish my ex would get his karma and end up in jail, but these are my personal feelings and not what I would want for my son. I am sure you will raise a fine child without your ex and give your L.O all the love in the world. WOW! I am sorry to hear what has happened here. Al though, sometimes I wish my ex would get his karma and end up in jail, but these are my personal feelings and not what I would want for my son.
I am sure you will raise a fine child without your ex and give your L.O all the love in the world.

]]> By: Bridgette http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-710 Bridgette Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:05:16 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-710 Satsuki - I completely agree with all that you said. I'm feeling the exact same way right now. Satsuki – I completely agree with all that you said. I’m feeling the exact same way right now.

]]> By: Bridgette http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-709 Bridgette Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:04:37 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-709 Adrienne - Thanks a lot. I'm trying. I can tell my son really loves me and has a connection to me and that makes everything so much easier to deal with. I am disappointed I didn't get my dream two parent happy family household, but at least I know I'm doing a great job and am appreciated so far with the cards I've been dealt :D Adrienne – Thanks a lot. I’m trying. I can tell my son really loves me and has a connection to me and that makes everything so much easier to deal with. I am disappointed I didn’t get my dream two parent happy family household, but at least I know I’m doing a great job and am appreciated so far with the cards I’ve been dealt :D

]]> By: Bridgette http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-708 Bridgette Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:02:27 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-708 Shannon - I'm sorry to hear what happened to you :( I don't think I can lie to my son. He will find out the truth anyway, especially if he were to have any type of relationship with his older brother. Plus, if his dad makes it out suppose he will be interested in being face to face with him. I mean he's obviously not good for my boy to know while he's a child, but I would understand his curiosity, if any, once he's older. Shannon – I’m sorry to hear what happened to you :( I don’t think I can lie to my son. He will find out the truth anyway, especially if he were to have any type of relationship with his older brother. Plus, if his dad makes it out suppose he will be interested in being face to face with him. I mean he’s obviously not good for my boy to know while he’s a child, but I would understand his curiosity, if any, once he’s older.

]]> By: Bridgette http://newsinglemama.com/606/20-years/comment-page-1/#comment-707 Bridgette Sun, 17 Jan 2010 06:00:33 +0000 http://newsinglemama.com/?p=606#comment-707 Sorry it took me a moment to answer I will in order. Satsuki - Thanks for mentioning those boys programs. I had thought about it some times (big brothers) but it completely left my brain. I will def keep those programs in mind! If all else fails maybe he will be able to make a positive male connection there. :) Sorry it took me a moment to answer I will in order.

Satsuki – Thanks for mentioning those boys programs. I had thought about it some times (big brothers) but it completely left my brain. I will def keep those programs in mind! If all else fails maybe he will be able to make a positive male connection there. :)

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