Posted on | August 18, 2011 | 12 Comments
How long are you supposed to go on punishing someone for the past? If a person makes a big mistake what do they have to do to merit forgiveness?
My mom let it be known that she’s very unhappy with the fact that I’m involved with my son’s dad as well as his family. He’s so grumpy and bitter especially now that he and I are closer romantically, as friends and as co-parents. She said he does not deserve it. He was not there in the beginning.
Prison is really the best thing that could have happened to us. He’s clean now which has made a huge difference in who he is as a person. He’s not the same druggy asshole who lived day to day on a diet of meth, pills and marijuana. Clean Daddy is actually a pretty cool, laid-back, funny, smart and interesting guy. Furthermore, prison has allowed us to sit down and really talk and get to know one another no distractions. We realized over time that we have more in common and get along better than we did before. We are very dear friends. He tries to be as good a dad as possible to our son. Our son loves him and talks about “Daddy” constantly. This past year and change has been calm for us. But because he wasn’t there that first year am I to never forgive him and forever hold a grudge? If he’s still around when Jack is, say, 5 he will have been around 4 years to his absence of 1 year. Do I blow off those 4 and continue holding the 1 over his head?
I just don’t get it. That’s now how I live my life. Our past is ugly, yes. But I’m truly over that part of my life by now. 2 years have passed. My mom is such a miserable person and I wish she wouldn’t live her life like that either. Forever a cynic, pessimistic. I also think it’s a case of jealousy and possessiveness. She feels because she’s been around Jack is HER’S. Fact of the matter he is half mine, half Daddy’s. He’s as much Daddy’s parent’s as he is her’s and so on.
This is really just a rant. I’m getting sick of her eyes rolls and snide remarks each time either Jack or I talk about his dad.