Posted on | September 9, 2011 | 11 Comments
I just completed my 3rd week college. So far things are a lot harder than I originally thought they would be. I go to school fulltime, I try to find time to work part-time and be a mom to my rowdy 2 year old and find time to do all of my homework assignments. By the end of the night I’m just worn out. I feel like I never get enough sleep.
I don’t know what to do with myself because I feel like I’m not handling it well. I’m doing well on all of my assignments so far, BUT I’m so behind financially because it’s been so difficult to find time to put hours into work and just part time aint cutting it anyway. After rent and electricity being paid I’m currently -$200 in my checking account, my savings have been wiped out and my credit cards are all maxed. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do. I have no money for credit card payments, no money to pay my bills, no money for a daycare copayment. The weather is getting pretty cool and all of my son’s pants are high waters but I have no money to buy him anything new. Fuck. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I have a military check coming in hopefully a week or two but it will only be $200. Just enough to get me out of a deficit. I have a financial aid grant refund but my school so nicely decided at this moment in time to go “green” so we have to be issued credit cards and have the money transferred onto those. Who knows when the credit cards will come and the balance transferred.
I’m fucking drowning and don’t know what to do. I’ve already sold all of my stuff to keep afloat before when we have struggled in the past, so I have nothing but the bare minimum right now.
Daddy called me and I completely broke down over the phone with him. I could tell he felt horrible and was panicing for us inside, but he remained calm and talked me down and did all he could to make me laugh. He told me not to worry one bit and that he would fix things and take good care of us, which I guess means he will try to get his dad to send us money or he’s gonna send me his book money. I don’t know. I do know I don’t want his book money. We have food at least, without his books he won’t be able to eat or buy his necessities, so although I appreciate his gesture he can keep that. I’d rather find a way than him starve. Nevertheless, he did a good job of pepping me up, but I’m still stressing.