Raw and Honest Blog of a New Single Mom

I am a single mother of a biracial baby boy just trying to make it on my own. This journey is hard, yet rewarding. Blogging is my therapy, these words are my heart, and people doing better and being inspired by what I have written is my passion and hope.

Tired of this Single Parent Business

Posted on | July 18, 2012 | 11 Comments

God it’s been too long since I’ve posted here. I’m a freaking jerk. Forgive me.

I keep so busy with work, school, trying to maintain my sanity that I just rarely find the time or inspiration to sit down and write out my thoughts. I do read your comments and emails even if I don’t have the time to respond to them all. I will try to be better though.

I’m so tired, yall. Being a single mom is taking every thing out of me. I feel like no matter what I put into it it’s never enough.

First of all I have to work full time and I’m going to college full time which takes up big portions of my day. On top of it there is the domestic side of parenting. My home is never clean for more than a day or two and it really brings me down. I try to keep it in order, but sooner or later I stop being able to keep up with my son and his messes. I become exhausted and give up. I have other things to do, and I give up. That leads to not being able to see the floor of any room in the house within as little as hours. Food gets snuck into various parts of the apartment and left there until I find it. Because of that along with the summer weather I now have a serious roach problem on my hands which makes me even more depressed. They crawl every where on every thing, even me! I can’t cook in my own kitchen because they crawl over EVERY THING there too! The dishes, drawers, counters, cabinets. Nothing is safe. I hate having to eat out for every meal, or a frozen dinner, or just nothing at all. That’s the only upside to the roaches. I’ve lost so much weight because I’d rather be hungry than eat at home. My poor son lives off corn dogs, frozen sandwiches and meals, or fast food. I mean I try to always pick sandwiches over burgers and fries most of the time, but it’s still not as good as a home cooked meal which a growing boy really needs. I get that and I feel like a fail mom cuz of it.

My son is not much help, obviously since he is primarily the cause. Now that he’s 3 years old I’m working on holding him more accountable. Every now and then if there’s a mess, like food on the floor I will make him pick it up and put it in the trash. I’m trying to get him used to always leaving food in the trash and he’s starting to get the hang of it but we have a loooooooooooooooong ways to go.

Then there are other domestic things I can hardly keep up with such as laundry (have to go to a mat) and shopping. Always behind on those.

The other thing I hate and battle with is his sleeping schedule. He’s impossible to get to bed early. Even if I put him in bed at 10, he won’t go to actual sleep until midnight or later. Then when it’s time to wake up in the morning it’s almost impossible. I struggle and struggle and he just will not wake up which leads to him sometimes missing day care because I just can’t no matter what I do .. sit him up, tap his face, wash his face, set an alarm. I learned a trick yesterday that he is sooo into animal crackers right now that if I can just get him awake enough and I say to him “Wake up Jack so you can have some cookies!” he will jump right outta bed. But what happens when he doesn’t care about cookies anymore?

Money is tight because although I try to work full time, that doesn’t always happen. Things seem to always come up. such as my car going to complete shit. The mechanics told me to just come pick it up and sell it to the salvage yard. So that’s what I had to do. I made $200 for that, but now I have to figure out a way to make car payments so I can have transportation. My mom works down the street from the day care so she takes my son for me, but other than that I don’t really get to leave the house more than a couple times a week on her schedule. Whenever she can take me to the store or something. It freaking sucks.

Yeah, I’m still around. Yeah, I’m still making it. But damn is shit ever hard right now. I really need help and wish more than ever I had a partner to share some responsibility with, but I know that’s not an option right now so I just keep going …

Comments

11 Responses to “Tired of this Single Parent Business”

  1. Sylvia White
    July 20th, 2012 @ 3:18 am

    So, glad to hear you back. Even if you are quite busy you still spend setting down and writing about your life. Even you are busy being a single mom, work full time and studying full time yet you can still handle these responsibilities. You are so awesome.:)
    Check Out Sylvia White\’s [type]! \"Teeth Whitening Made Easy at Home\"

  2. Laura
    July 22nd, 2012 @ 1:40 am

    Hey there! I’m glad that I came across this site. I’ve been searching for other single mom blogs to read. I’m a single mom, too, and it’s been helping me to read your past entries and current. Welcome back to blogging! Looking forward to reading some of your future stuff!

  3. Pamela Oakley
    July 26th, 2012 @ 1:49 am

    Yes, you are right sometime we felt tired for being a single mom yet this was not the reason to stop being a good mom so I am proud of you to be a good mom to your kid.
    Check Out Pamela Oakley\’s [type]! \"Male Potency and Natural Ways to Be Sexually Potent Men\"

  4. Carla
    July 30th, 2012 @ 2:26 am

    I know things may seem a bit overwhelming for you right now, but I need you to hang in there. Your son needs you to hang in there and pull yourself together. I’ve been in your position many times because I always persevered. Trust me, your situation is only temporary.

    As far as your cleanliness issues.. I know you’re tired but you have to think about you and your son’s health. Yes, roaches are disgusting and creepy but they are also unhealthy to have in your home. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. Or, just take a day and get everything together. Get some bug spray and get them out of there. They can cause asthma and spread a lot of other germs.

    As for little man, he’s definitely old enough to be held accountable so kudos to you for doing so. I have a three year old as well, and while sometimes he needs a little assistance cleaning up, for the most part, he does a pretty good job when the only ultimatum is to remain in his room (without his favorite toys) until it’s clean.

    Last, I want to reiterate this: don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. Visit your local Office of Family Support to apply for any type of assistance that is available to you. Apply for child support, etc. I know out here in Louisiana, we have a program for working individuals that offers a low interest loan to purchase a car from a dealership. While the selection is limited, the cars are reliable, so that’s a good thing. You may want to try http://www.freecharitycars.org/how-it-works. Or, what about money from school/refund check? Perhaps you can use that to put towards a down payment for a reliable car?

    Stay strong. Things will get better.

    Hope to hear from you soon.
    Check Out Carla\’s [type]! \"The Mommy Graduate.\"

  5. Bridgette
    July 31st, 2012 @ 5:40 pm

    Thanks for all of the support!

    Carla – Thanks for the link to FCC. I joined! And you’re right about the roaches they are GROSS. I’ve started to get a handle with them using Boric Acid. Thank GOD!

  6. Aevee
    August 2nd, 2012 @ 9:56 pm

    SO I stumbled upon your blog and it’s so refreshing to hear another mama going through what I’m going through right now. I feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown

  7. Ann Fantom
    August 9th, 2012 @ 4:33 am

    I am so glad to find your post. This is so inspiring post. I am also a single mom and this post gives me some strength that as a single mom we can still do everything for our child.
    Check Out Ann Fantom\’s [type]! \"Gain a Bigger and Harder Erection Naturally\"

  8. Sara
    August 12th, 2012 @ 5:54 pm

    Oh Sweetie!
    Hang in there! I worked full-time with school and a baby too. It gets better! First…that roach problem MUST be corrected.
    Next…my saving laundry grace (and I was washing diapers at the ‘mat) was a portable washing machine that hooks to the sink like a dishwasher. I always had clothes drying on racks in my kitchen, but I wasn’t going to the ‘mat anymore.

    Your son can learn to toss his toys into large baskets at the end of each day. See if your daycare can keep him from napping for a day. That should get his sleeping rhythm back to normal.

    You are doing an incredible thing for yourself and your son. Keep your eye on the prize! I know exactly how hard you are working and I am so proud of you!!
    Check Out Sara\’s [type]! \"Aug 11, About Sara\"

  9. Shantelle Broze
    August 14th, 2012 @ 8:06 am

    You have a busy life yet I think you can be able to handle these responsibilities. I am proud of you.
    Check Out Shantelle Broze\’s [type]! \"Tips to Whiter Teeth and a Brighter Smile\"

  10. Yvette
    September 14th, 2012 @ 1:25 pm

    Let me tell you that this seems like a very similar situation. I feel exactly the same way, only difference is I have 2 jobs and 2 children.
    there are times we want to just give up everything. I recently dropped out of college I just felt I was taking too much on at one time.
    I think a good thing to think about doing is taking everything one step at a time. Maybe you can start by getting your son, to bed at the same time everyday. He will follow through as long as you follow through. It will take some time give it about 2 weeks to a month to get useto, but routine is the key. Even though at first he won’t fall asleep, I promise if you are consistant with him, it will work. Then work your way to the next goal, one by one…once you have those small things down next will be to schedule a day where you clean one room. Next day another, until they are all clean, that will help with your roach infestation.
    Sorry I know this works because I started to do these things, and I know it is extemely hard, but it can be done, nothing is impossible if you put you mind to it. My next step is to get back in school and finish! Because that seems to be a problem, anyone have any good suggestions for that?

    Oh and by the way start with small things to cook, first sandwiches, fruit, things like that then work your way up to making better, healthier, and bigger meals. Plan ahead, turst me I thought that wouldn’t work until I finally took it serious, it works, very much so. My kids have a routine, they have a basket where they place their clothes when they change and they even learned to pick their own clothes, and my daughter 3, my son 4…so teach that boy of yours good habits, as well as give yourself good ones.

  11. Catherine
    November 8th, 2012 @ 4:34 pm

    Hello world, I’m a single mum to five children. I work full time, study part time, own a spotless home and have the most wonderful children aged 16, 14, 13, 10, 8 who work extremly hard at school. My life is hectic, challenging and all done without a penny or input from my X. If the house or garden get trashed, I clean it, or it drives me to insanity. I live in Liverpool and sometimes dream about ‘A Knight in shining armour to make it better’…However I can do it AND SO CAN YOU! Much love x