Posted on | August 24, 2012 | 48 Comments
Lately I have had the overwhelming urge to start over and make a new life for myself. I just don’t like where I am in life and location anymore. I feel so lost and am constantly wondering “what next?”. All of my friends have left this state and have made wonderful new lives for themselves in their new locations, leaving me to be the last Oklahoman standing. I know absolutely no one here yet I have been here all of my life. Pretty sad … I dunno. I am finding myself needing to start over one way or another. I’m just not sure I want to do it here, I’m not happy here. I kinda wanna follow suit of my friends and get out ASAP.
For one, I’m not meeting a lot of new people I connect with, both friends and dating. I feel like most people here that I come across just don’t get me. For 2) There’s not much going on here that allows for someone like me to get out and meet people. I’d like better opportunities to do what I enjoy, but can’t find many that don’t involve getting drunk. Or eating.
But then that leaves so many questions I have to ask myself. Like “Where do I go?” I could move to Texas which is where half my friends have gone. I will know people and will definitely have more opportunities. But sometimes I feel like Texas is just a nicer version of Oklahoma. I want change. I want to be around different people than I’m used to. I want diversity and a little bit more … liberalness. Some place like NYC, though I’m not sure I, a small city girl, could handle NYC. And I have absolutely no connections there.
I also wonder “How will I meet new people?” I’m single, a mother and I work from home. If I move some place where I know no one who will watch my son for me allowing me to have free weekends or time to spend in my endeavors? I love my son, but could I really stand to be tied to him 24-7 with no breaks?
So much that needs to be worked out.
My question is, have any of you single moms done what I want to do? Have you packed up and made a new life for yourself somewhere with a kid in tow? If so how did it work out? Did you have the same concerns I have? How did those work out?
I mean I still have a couple years. I wanna finish my school, I need to save, get a car and get back on my feet. But still. 5 years tops and I’m gone. I really really long for change.