Posted on | February 9, 2009 | 5 Comments
Wow, how do you even get over the used up feeling? Between being impregnated by a loser boy who never gave a fuck a bout me and could give two shits about his child (and a boy who I never loved or wanted a serious relationship with either)… to being broken up with by a seemingly great guy and good friend for being knocked up by the Loser Boy … to losing a good majority of friends/acquaintances who want nothing to do with me, think lowly of me or just plain try to guilt trip me or make me feel bad for being a single mother .. I have close to no one now and it’s all happened within a months time period. Harsh.
All at once I just feel so used up and washed out at the young age of 23. Damaged goods. I hear all the time how being a single parent is so lonely and it’s hard to find friends or dates once this is your life. I had so much planned before parenthood, I wanted so much happiness .. is it really all over for me just because I have a child? Just because I’m one of those pesky single parents? Why does being a single parent have to make one a leper? Someone people look down their nose to and want to avoid at all costs?
My mom is a single mother. She had two friends and tons of brothers and sisters she talked to on the phone. Other than that I was her life, she never dated or anything. She spent all her time in the house with me, only leaving on Sundays for church and through the weekdays for work. She seemed content, but the life always seemed so lonely to me. I had always vowed I wanted to be different.
Now I feel as if I’m headed on the same path all because of one little slip up that turned into a little miracle. And every day I’m reminded of this by someone or something.