We dated for a short period of time. I thought he was nice and I was intrigued by his style, this intense Italian “man”. He insisted that he was in love, in fact he was a tad bit obsessed. In his heart, supposedly, I was “The One”. He held me in his arms multiple times and sweetly said “I love you and I want you in my life forever. I want you to have my baby. I want us to make a family .. ”
And for a second I almost believed him.
His wish came true and after only a few weeks of dating, our first time being intimate, we made our baby boy. It wasn’t until then he decided he wasn’t ready to give up his lifestyle of being slacker and an abuser of illegal substances afterall. He let it all out, and it was all news to me. I had no idea of the alternative life he led, but after time I learned that lifestyle was not appropriate for me or my son. So here I am a single mother in my early 20s. Never in a million years did I want be single mother or even imagine being here. In the past I felt I was so “above” it and could do much better.
Needless to say I don’t think of single mothers like that anymore.
Things aren’t so bad, but they aren’t easy either. It’s been a hard road so far and I’m only at the beginning. In a few short months who I am has changed drastically as I’ve gone through so much. The fun-loving, free-spirited, selfish girl I was last year is long gone and day by day I’m being molded into the woman I need to be not only for myself, but for my new baby.
This blog documents my journey from the beginning onwards.