Romanticizing the Useless
I have a few topics I want to write about .. I’m going to try to remember them all but I probably won’t. I may spread them out in multiple posts as they come to mind.
First I want to address the depression and the issues I have with Daddy that I wrote about. My problem [...]
Putting My Truth and Honesty Out There
I think by having an online blog causes bloggers to lack authenticity, no matter what they may say. To an extent most bloggers blog to attract readers, to keep them interested, to not offend, to hide from those they know in real life.
While once upon a time I enjoyed writing fiction, I cannot be fake [...]
Is This Really My Life As I’ll Know It?
Wow, how do you even get over the used up feeling? Between being impregnated by a loser boy who never gave a fuck a bout me and could give two shits about his child (and a boy who I never loved or wanted a serious relationship with either)… to being broken up with by a [...]
Sensitive
I’ve never been much of a sensitive person. I’ve never been much of a person to fall inlove, much of a person to stress, much of a person to care much what other people think or to be bothered by things .. but here I am. I’m an emotional wreck. I’m super sensitive, I cry [...]
Lonely, Depressed, Distressed …
Today I just had a realization of how alone I am. How upside down my world is. How my life is nothing like I imagined. How I feel so ashamed and disappointed with myself.
Saying I’m alone could be a huge stretch, I do have family members, most of which are excited about my child .. [...]
Getting Stronger .. and Stranger
I woke up this morning with a whole new attitude, a fed up one. I’m tired of feeling hurt, feeling used, feeling pissed, feeling heartbroken, feeling disappointed. I’m coming to terms with being pregnant .. it isn’t so bad really. But I’ve let all of these people into my life, into my heart, into my [...]
Feeling Meh, New Look for Blog
I feel so sick, meh. I spent all of yesterday pretty much crying my eyes out, having a mental break down, dabbing into depression, being mad at Thumper, being mad at men, being mad at love, being mad at my life in general, feeling insecure, feeling inadequate. This morning all that was still there too. [...]
More Heartache for Mommy
So Thumper broke up with me this morning. Everything was going fantastic for us, or so I thought. However, I could sense in the past couple of days that something was wrong as he suddenly pulled away from me, so today I decided to finally ask him to talk to me about it. Long story [...]
Nightmares
I’ve been having what seem like nightmares every time I go to sleep but they’re really not. One was an innocent dream about me shopping for the baby yet it was making me toss and turn.
The others are unfortunately about Daddy. In some of them he calls me, in some of them he doesn’t. Either [...]
Where Are You?!
Day 6, no call from Daddy
I’m still counting, still caring. How long is he going to ignore us? What’s he doing right now? Does he ever think of me and baby? If so what kind of thoughts cross his mind? Does he still talk about us? If he does what does he say?
Ugh [...]
