Bridgette

Friends with boyfriends, friends out of town, friends with other friends, friends with potential boyfriends .. I’ve found myself to be the odd one out this NYE. With such short notice there’s not much I can do to change it, so in a hurry I am trying to do all I can to make the best of it. With my son, or without my son that is the question.

Going into this new year I’ve realized I really need to tweak some things in my life because in 2011 the last thing I want to do is look back and realize I’m still in the same place. I’m still unhappy.

Jack is pretty much doing everything now except walking independently and it’s blowing my mind. It’s like one day he could hardly crawl all that well and that next he was crawling, climbing, standing and taking steps when holding on to surfaces. I think it was because of the exersaucer and jumperoo he received as early Christmas presents. They really seemed to up his confidence in standing/walking and built up strength in his legs. According to his doctor he’s very advanced for his age because he’s doing things typically a 9 month old would be doing. I’m so very proud, but it has it’s drawbacks as well. For one I hate that he’s impossible to change and bathe because he wants to move around so much which really frustrates me lately. Especially since more and more often he’s been getting up the back poops .. every parents nightmare.

For two, I get no sleep because I have to wake up about 50 times a night to check on him since he’s crawled off the bed more times than I’d like to count while we sleep. I’m giving up cosleeping now and purchased him a crib.

I was going to participate in Ms. Single Mama’s “New Year, New Leaf Challenge”. I wrote up a few things I want to change this upcoming year, but I never got the time to finish writing it all out so it’s sitting as a draft that I will probably post eventually even though I’m now too late to officially enter. Working more diligently is one of the things I want to do this year. I had to face it: I’m in debt. Ever since I had my boy I don’t really work much and everything I bought for him had to be charged. My credit cards have reached a balance of $3k in total. Which isn’t horrible compared to most people but that’s more than I want to owe anyone. I’ve cut them up and vow to live off cold cash or debit now.
To keep up with this vow, I had to empty out my savings account over the weekend to buy my son a bed. barricading no longer works because he can climb over anything. So now we have no savings it’s completely do or die in order to survive.

I hope by the summer to have the debt paid off and hopefully a little savings built back up.

….

So I got noticed over the weekend that we finally have court with Daddy later this month. I don’t know how to feel about that. Part of me is happy to be moving forward in this child support case, the other part of me is nervous as hell to see him. It’s been over a year now and with all I’ve learned about him the past month. But I honestly don’t know how this would work out being that he’s in jail right now. He probably won’t even be there.

…..

One other thing I want to change is my cooking habits .. typically I don’t cook and I’m embarrassed to admit I still haven’t lost the baby weight. I bought a bunch of groceries and I’m going to cook them up and learn new recipes on the way. I’m putting myself on a low carb-ish diet because of how sedentary I am and I bought myself a Wii for Christmas that I will only buy interactive games for. I’m loving DDR!

Ok this is a start to my updates. I gotta run now to get things done while little man is sleeping.

By Sunday night I was hospitalized and it turned out I my appendix was about to explode, plus I had an ovarian cyst so I had to get those bad boys removed. All my life I dreaded surgery but I guess with modern technology it’s not that bad. I have two unnoticeable stomach incisions and one c-section incision. I’ve been healing without pain meds. I was released Christmas Eve and spent time over my moms with my son. Christmas was just us 3 being snowed in her cozy apartment. I have to say that she drove me absolutely batshit insane after living with her a month and my son was picking up too many bad habits such staying up until midnight, wanting to be held at all times, throwing a fit when he doesn’t get his way .. all of which my mom catered to. No ma’am Miss Pam! so I pleaded to come home and here we are.

It’s so nice be home again, just the two of us. It’s still a little difficult to take care of him and he’s such a big crier and whiner now, but hopefully we can both be back to normal within a week or so.

I bought Ryan Gosling’s band (Dead Man’s Bones) debut album and I really love it. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside because it reminds me a lot of my childhood with the doowop sound and children choir singing about all these spooky things. It’s quite festive for the reason and reminds me of how excited I got as a kid (hell I still do). I honestly can’t wait until my boy is old enough to really appreciate this holiday so I can go all out for him. Decorations, costumes, pumpkin carving, fall treats .. and music like this. I did get him a little costume. I will take pics of him in it later. He will be a ghost. Original right?

I’m not sure if I’m going anywhere, but if I do I will be Lady Gaga from the Paparazzi video. So excited to dress up like her.

What are you and your children going to be?

ETA: I just realized it’s been exactly one year today since I’ve been with my boy. I would have gotten pregnant this morning!

Me and Jack doin our make up and reveling in our insane beauty :p ..

Nope, nothing of substance to add here!

Well what do you know … lol

He brought up more interesting things:

1) I would be disappointed and heartbroken THIS year, but it will not be a problem I can’t overcome .. it will just be hard for me to emotionally.
2) I will do great financially. Me and my “unknown child” will be very happy and comfortable.
3) A man will come back in my life wanting a second chance and I should give it to him because it will work out for the best this time around.
4) I will fear court, legal documents and physical harm but not to worry because everything is in my favor and none of this will come to be. Things are going to work out on their own.
5) I will have my true love and reason to celebrate within 18 months (from last June)
5) When this mystery man comes back we’re going to have a lot of amazing sex. I should forgive him and enjoy it.

OWWW!!! Holy shit my future life is amazing. When the fuck does all the good stuff start?!

We talked more about other boring things which he was right about as well .. eventually. Now I’m curious to see how the rest of his prediction goes!

Has anyone else ever had a psychic reading? How did it go? Did truth come of it or was it mostly bogus?

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life,

then you need to……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ……

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and
see your worth…..

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you .

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction……

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents

LET IT GO!!!

If you! u have a bad attitude…….

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him……..

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…….

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves……

LET IT GO!!!

If you’re feeling depressed and stressed ……….

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying ‘take your hands off of it,’ then you need to……

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2009!!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .

LET IT GO!!!