Evil.
I never posted this here but about a week ago I got a letter from the state saying that my son’s Newborn Screening Test came back that he most likely is carrying Sickle Cell Trait and they asked that me and his father come in and be tested asap as the are certain one of [...]
Putting My Truth and Honesty Out There
I think by having an online blog causes bloggers to lack authenticity, no matter what they may say. To an extent most bloggers blog to attract readers, to keep them interested, to not offend, to hide from those they know in real life.
While once upon a time I enjoyed writing fiction, I cannot be fake [...]
I Hate This Part
It never fails. He’s in and out of my life, making me promises .. promises I hardly believe, yet I always have hope. Somehow my mind seems to always erase the bad and try to dig for the good. Somehow I continue to love him in a morbidly masochistic kind of way. I’m not in [...]
And Now He’s Gone ..
When I made THIS POST I thought more than anything in the world that’s what I wanted. For my son to know who his father was.
But why when I got him and his cooperation I didn’t have not one good feeling about it and instead was terribly apprehensive and constantly on the verge of tears?
I [...]
Why Doesn’t He Care?
I’m feeling so frustrated with Daddy right now. My temper is fuming and I type this as anger-tears flood out of my eyes down onto my laptop keyboard.
I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a permanent thought that’s killing me right now. It’s starting to hurt me all over again that he doesn’t care about [...]
Cussed Daddy Out
With my pregnancy half over I’d been fighting back and forth with the decision of whether or not to tell Daddy anything about his baby as sort of an FYI just so he can never say that even though he’s made no moves to include himself in our lives, that I never did anything to [...]
Confirmed
I had to get medically confirmed yesterday that I am indeed knocked up. Heh. They said I’m about 6 weeks and my baby should be due July 14.
When I got home Daddy signed online but didn’t message me. I decided to take the plunge. I messaged him first and simply said “Hey Daddy. Just wanted [...]
Overload
I’m only 1 month pregnant and already I’m showing too many symptoms. Teehee. My GAWD .. cramps, tender boobs, heart burn, mood swings. I feel so depressed right now and really for no reason.
Am I gonna bitch about Daddy this entry? Eh, not really cause I don’t feel like its him this time. Right now [...]
Where Are You?!
Day 6, no call from Daddy
I’m still counting, still caring. How long is he going to ignore us? What’s he doing right now? Does he ever think of me and baby? If so what kind of thoughts cross his mind? Does he still talk about us? If he does what does he say?
Ugh [...]
I Sleep So I Can’t Feel
I’ve slept a lot today. Mostly so I can pretend that none of this is real right now. Yes, I’m still confused, trying to find out what to do, what I’m going to do with my life, my child. It’s so hard.
On Friday when I left the Dad of my kid I was very emotional [...]
