Scared
I’m so ready to have this baby and get everything over with. Arrrgh. I can’t take it anymore! I’m so scared. Somewhat excited, but mostly scared. I hate living my life with a bit of fear in my heart It’s just soo .. not how I like to do things. I’m afraid of [...]
Nightmares
I’ve been having what seem like nightmares every time I go to sleep but they’re really not. One was an innocent dream about me shopping for the baby yet it was making me toss and turn.
The others are unfortunately about Daddy. In some of them he calls me, in some of them he doesn’t. Either [...]
Overload
I’m only 1 month pregnant and already I’m showing too many symptoms. Teehee. My GAWD .. cramps, tender boobs, heart burn, mood swings. I feel so depressed right now and really for no reason.
Am I gonna bitch about Daddy this entry? Eh, not really cause I don’t feel like its him this time. Right now [...]
Boy oh Boy?!!
I talked to my friend, Scott today who used to be one of my best friends from when I was a teenager up until a year ago. I told him about the baby and he did some Chinese Horoscope on me which basically just told me that my baby is gonna be a boy [...]
Where Are You?!
Day 6, no call from Daddy
I’m still counting, still caring. How long is he going to ignore us? What’s he doing right now? Does he ever think of me and baby? If so what kind of thoughts cross his mind? Does he still talk about us? If he does what does he say?
Ugh [...]
Making Progress.
I managed to finally crawl out of bed today and take a shower (I know, ew, right? LOL!) and generally give half a damn about my appearance, hygiene and health. I feel like eating today. I haven’t eaten much since I first found out I am pregnant and have lost 10 lbs so far. But [...]
Who I Was, Who I Am …
I’m thinking about the road my life was headed before I knew I was pregnant.
I was a 23 year old single girl living in a small studio apartment in Oklahoma. I was self employed and took great pride in my work .. it was a dream come true to be in the position that I [...]
I Called Him
I feel stupid because since Friday I’ve called the father of my baby maybe about 10 times. I was under the impression that he had blocked me because every time I called it would ring once and start playing music which I assumed was his voice mail so I would hang up and call again [...]
I Sleep So I Can’t Feel
I’ve slept a lot today. Mostly so I can pretend that none of this is real right now. Yes, I’m still confused, trying to find out what to do, what I’m going to do with my life, my child. It’s so hard.
On Friday when I left the Dad of my kid I was very emotional [...]
Having Second Thoughts Today
Another day and I am trying to get by. I managed to successfully wake up this morning and see that the father of my child had not called me, messaged me or emailed me (the last time I have talked to him is Friday) and I did not cry.
I managed to go through most of [...]
